Thursday, December 24, 2009
Greatest suggestion ever made
Laugh till your stomach aches JJJJ
Just look at the great person’s(Purushottam Abuj) comment in rediff and the funny replies the ppl have sent on his great idea J….This blog was on the article where 2 scientists have invented a plane that will run on solar energy…they claim it will work in night as well…
Njoy the blog
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Suggestion
by Purushottam Abuj on Jun 30, 2009 01:38 PM | Hide replies
Actually Government should use the geographical advantage of we being on the opposite side of USA.
We should dig a through hole from the center earth which will connect India and USA, so we can put wire through it.
So in India's day time sun light and solar energy can be given to USA and they can give us the same in their day time.
Also we can fit an train through it so that we dont have to use planes for travelling.
Similarly Finland and New Zealand can be connected using a vertical angular hole.
The best part is if we drop something from Finland it will automatically come down to New Zealand due to gravity, so lot of energy
can be saved which we lose in transportation and travelling.
This saved energy can then be stored in everyday pencil cells and can be sold at Rs 14 each. This additional revenue can then be
used to educate the people and the children of farmers so that they will have earning sons and they will not sucide.
Re: Suggestion
by SUNDEEB NAIR on Jun 30, 2009 01:50 PM
Brilliantest idea ever spelt. But when digging hole from India to US, we should take care when digging at the end, otherwise the excavators & engineers, laborers etc. will fall out of the earth into space.
I differ reg. pricing pencil cells at Rs.14/-, due to inflation, drought the price should be raised to like 14.50
Re: Suggestion
by venky iyer on Jun 30, 2009 01:48 PM
mr purshottam ur definately a mahapurush,i must recommend you to padma bhushan nd vidya bhushan awards for u
Re: Suggestion
by Rajnish Singh on Jun 30, 2009 01:46 PM
Making hole in earth is not a good idea. We can just break sun into 4-5 parts and fit one part above India, one above US, one above Finlad and one above New Zealand.
Re: Re: Suggestion
by Rajnish Singh on Jun 30, 2009 01:48 PM
Sanjoy, I have already nominated him for Noble prize. Please don't forget to watch India TV tonight ;-)
Re: Re: Suggestion
by manoj lakhanpal on Jun 30, 2009 01:57 PM
This is realy a grt idea guys.. one more thing we are missing.. How Bhart Ratan Purush (Honai wallai) can forget to utilize MOON.. We need to workout to utilize moon light in night rather than digging our motherland.. ..
Re: Re: Re: Suggestion
by Purushottam Abuj on Jun 30, 2009 02:01 PM
Yes I agree as Moon glows in the night it means surely it is having some sort of energy,
My suggestion is Next time when we launch chandrayan, connect some wire to its end and then send to earth. So the energy can directly reach from Moon to Sriharikotta.
By the way, dont forget to another wire for Earthing, becoz I am not sure if Moonthing works
Re: Suggestion
by Gaurav Kaul on Jun 30, 2009 01:55 PM
thank god you posted this here and not on a foreign website.otherwise all indians would be branded mental patients ....
Re: Suggestion
by Ungli on Jun 30, 2009 01:52 PM
what an idea sirji,:)
Re: Suggestion
by chin chu on Jun 30, 2009 01:59 PM
and what if all the kids playing the hole fall into it? Like it does happen everywhere around these days..pahle borewell me girte the..abhi isme girenge. he he
Re: Re: Suggestion
by Rajnish Singh on Jun 30, 2009 02:02 PM
Ismein girenge to US pahunch jaayenge....
Hahahahahahaa…. J
How to call police
How To Call The Police When You're Old And Don't Move Fast Anymore
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up..
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Don't mess with old people
Indian Marketing Skills
Manager of a Retail store in US asks: "Do you have any sales experience?"
The Indian says: "Sir, I was a salesman back home in India."
Well, the boss liked the Indian chappie so he gave him the job. "You
start tomorrow.. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many sales did you make today?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, Just ONE sale."
The boss says: "Just one? No! No! No! You see here our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day." If you want to keep this job, you'd
better be doing better than just one sale.
By the way, how much was the sale for?"
Indian boy says: " $101 237. 64"
Boss says: "$101 237. 64? What the hell did you sell?"
Indian boy says: "Sir, First I sell him small fishhook.
Then I sell him medium fishhook.
Then I sell him large fishhook.
Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear.
Then I ask him where he's going fishing and he said down on the
coast, so
I told him he'll be needing a boat, so we went down to the boating
department and I sell him twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him
down to our automotive department and sell him that 4X4 Blazer.
I then ask him where he'll be staying, and since he had no
accommodation,
I took him to camping department and sell him one of those new igloo
6 sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw in about $100
worth of groceries and two cases of beer.
The boss said: "You're not serious? A guy came in here to buy a
fishhook and you sold him a boat, a 4X4 truck and a tent?"
Indian boy says: "No Sirji, actually he came in to buy Anacin for his headache, and I said: Well, fishing is the best way to relax your mind."
Rajni v/s Amitabh Bachan
Rajni and his fans
Rajnikant was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, "You know, I know everyone, Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.
Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, "OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it" Rajini said. So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts :--- "Thalaiva! Great to see you! You
and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
..Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical.After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else" Rajini says
."President Obama", Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts .."Yes", Rajini says, "I know him .
And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, :----"Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up".
Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores her to name anyone else.
"The Pope," Amitabh Bachan replies .."Sure!" says Rajini, "My folks are from Italy and I've known the Pope a long time".
Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican .. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to Amitabh Bachan's side, Rajini asks him, "What happened?"
Amitabh Bachan looks up and says, "I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said,
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"Who's that on the balcony with Rajini?"
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
IT sector ke SIDE EFFECTS
You might have behaved in similar way sometime :P
I once went out to the market wearing my Infosys ID card and did not realize till my friend told me why I was wearing it !!!! Ashok few days back I slept at 11:30 in the ni8 and woke up in the morning at 7:00 and suddenly thought that I haven't completed 9.15 hours and laughed at myself when I realised abt that. Jyotsna One from me too... Just after our training completion in Mysore Dc and postings to Pune, me and my friends went out for dinner in one of the best restaurants. . And as I finished.. I started walking towards the Basin with plates in my hand.. :) Abhijeet Jus to add... Once I was on call with my father and mom was not around. I went on to ask, "why is she not attending the status call?" Anup I don't login to orkut, yahoo, gmail, youtube, etc.. at my personal internet connection at home... thinking it will be blocked any way. Till I realize - I am at home. Rohit Yeah sometimes it do happens with me also........ ....while writing personal mails also........ .I jus use the way as if I am writing to onsite or some senior person...... ..with Thanks And Regards and Company Title…. Jus forget that we are jus mailing our friends..... ......... And keeping hands in front of tap for waiting water to drop by itself is very frequent with me.......... .....I jus forget that we have to turn on and off the tap......... .. Nidhi Awesome!! Once after talking to one of my friend. I ended the conversation saying ..." Ok bye...in case of any issues will call u back" (Hilarious!) Nisha Sometimes when I mistakenly delete a message from my mobile, I hope for a second, maybe its in the recycle bin Farina I was about to throw my hanky into the bin after drying my hand. Bhabani Once I was flashing my ID card instead of unlocking the door with the keys. Nisha Kinda a same experience for me too.. I gave my office mail id and pwd to access Gmail and wondered when did they become invalid??? Sandy I have a experience to share tooo .. I was earlier working at the back office of an international Bank. We used to 'dispatch' lot of Credit / Debit cards and statements for the customers and track its delivery later. Once my granma was admitted in a hospital, my team mate once casually asked me " howz ur granma doing now ? still in hospital ? " ... and i replied to her " She is better now , she will dispatched from the hospital tomorrow !" This was followed by a loud laugh in the entire bay ! Sandeep Once I went to a pharmacy n asked for a tab....pharmacist asked whr I want 250mg r 500mg.....suddenly I replied as 256mg...lol. ...thank god he didn't noticed tht.... Ashwin Me getting a thought of doing an Alt+Tab while switching from a news channel to the DVD while watching TV. Vidyarthi And I - after a forty hour marathon in Bhubaneshwar with Powerbuilder, decided to take a break and went to a movie. In the middle of the movie, when I wanted to check the time, I kept repeatedly glancing at the bottom right corner of the silver screen! Venu Few of my friends and myself decided to go out for dinner. The place wasn't fixed yet. I said we shall decide it "run time" Krishna When I went to a movie theatre from office directly.. I showed the guy at the entrance my ID card and walked in... he had to call me back asking the ticket... Rama One late night when I went home after work, I was trying to flash my id card to open the lock and only after few secs, I realised what i'm trying to do Sridhar Once I went to have juice at the local juice vendor and innocuously asked him whether he had a plain 'version' of lemonade. Few years back my shogun engine stopped on Bangalore MG Road as the petrol came to reserve. I told my friend I need to restart my bike! The other day I was hearing one guy talking of a "Standalone" house.. when he was actually intending a independent house... Poor broker shud have tuff time trying to find a " Alone house standing in a huge empty area... " don't know what interpretations the guy must have made. |
Santa rocks again
Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.
The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now dear, you are a Catholic."
Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.
The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.
There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:
"Oye, you waz born a chicken and you waz born a lamb,
you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb
but now dears.... you are a potato and tomato"!
The Perfect Husband
There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club. After a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.
Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(H - Husband, W - Wife)
H - "Hello ?"
W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club? "
H - "Yes."
W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"
H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,000."
H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
W -"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2005 models. I saw one I really liked. It's a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price. And since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...
H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000..."
H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else...
H -"What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."
H - "How much are they asking?"
W - "Only $450,000 -- a magnificent price.. .and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."
H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
H - " Bye...I love you too..."
The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks " Does anyone know who this Cell phone belong to???"
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
----- The Guys Rules -----
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys ' side of the story. ( I must admit, it ' s pretty good.) You always hear " the rules "From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That ' s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you ' re fat, you probably are.
Don ' t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing ' s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don ' t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don ' t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .
1. Don ' t ask us what we ' re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Thank you for reading this.
Girls diary v/s Boys diary
Day night, I thought he was acting
weird. We had made plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I
was a bit late, but he made no comment.Conversatio n wasn't flowing so
I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but
he kept quiet and absent. I asked
him what was wrong - he said,
"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I
decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided
that I could not take it anymore,
so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to
do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is gonna be a disaster.
____________ _________ _________ _
HIS DIARY
==========
Today India lost the Final match
against Pakistan.
DAMN
IT.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!
How Indian mind works .....Great one
An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?
The Indian replies:
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"
Ah, the mind of the Indian...
This is why India is shining
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
How GIRLS rate Guys!!!!!! (Only for Boys) :)
It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.
Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:
********
% just a friend %
Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"
Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"
Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph! ).
********
% Good Friend %
You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.
Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"
(Shilpa calls back after two days)
Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".
Rahul: "Generally".
Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."
Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********
% Very good friend %
Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.
She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.
Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.
Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".
Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"
Shilpa : "My boyfriend."
Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(
********
% Best Friend %
You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.
And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.
Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.
Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.
Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends
Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."
Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).
********
% Best of the Bestest Friends %
Ok now you are really special.
You are dad-cum-boyfriend- cum-brother- cum-everything.
Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.
You take her around.
You make her project.
You do her assignments.
You are allowed to take her doggie around.
You can hold hands on the beach.
You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).
But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.
Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".
Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).
Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********
% Boyfriend %
Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********
Now ~ where you stand?
Gujju Boy ....cool one :-)
class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was
the most respected man,whom people consider God, who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll
give you the $20."
As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant,
since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business
is business!" :-) :-)
Friday, March 07, 2008
Why Newton committed suicide................(really shocking)
pick some time from busy schedule and know why a great scientist Newton committed suicide...
Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1)Rajinikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces,
which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajanikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang...
the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!
The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax.
(Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?)
Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Newton commits suicide..
Smart Answers .........Really Smart :-)
SMART ANSWER #4 -- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, " Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.
SMART ANSWER #3 -- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMART ANSWER #2 -- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ANSWER #1 -- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Extra but a good one
woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror . She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's are damn near perfect.”
[The Best One]
Sunday, December 16, 2007
wanna propose.....some best ways
1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
"You're under arrest!"
(For what?)
"For stealing my heart."
2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?
3. are your legs tired?
( girl: Why?)
because you have been running through my mind all day!
4. "I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
5. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes
6. (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt,jacket, etc.)
She would say,"What are doing"
respond,"Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven."
7. (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
"I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are."
8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
9. Walk up to a guy and say: "Are you from Greece?"
"No" he answers.
"Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece"
10. I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek,and die on your lips.
11. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
12. Are you lost?
'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
13. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
14. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
15. Do you have a map?
I just got lost in your eyes.
16. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
17. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
