Monday, November 19, 2007

Corporate Lessons ......Superb

CORPORATE LESSON # 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 just to drop that towel that you have on”. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower “Who was that?”

“It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.

“Great,” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

LESSON:

We must share critical credit information of our customer/debtors with our colleagues to prevent avoidable exposure & probable opened eye exploitation!



CORPORATE LESSON # 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road; he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal
a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car,
he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, “Father, remember psalm 129(Chapter/ section 129 of Bible)?”

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.

He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg.

Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember psalm 129?”

Once again the priest apologized. “Sorry sister, but the mind is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129. It Said,” Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory.”

LESSON:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great Opportunities!


CORPORATE LESSON # 3

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. “Listen,” said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?”

“Certainly, Sir” said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

“Excellent, excellent!” said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.” I just need one copy.”

LESSON:

Respect boss’ knowledge but Never, Never assume that your BOSS knows everything.


CORPORATE LESSON # 4

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, “Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true.”

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE”. The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian’s turn, he did the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, “SH!
Γ**!!!!!!!………”

LESSON:

Mind your language; you never Know what it will land you in !!

2 Choices in Life!

READ THIS :::::::LET IT REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE .

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood

I choose to be in a good mood."


Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.


Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked
He continued, "..the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude.. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

Ques .....Do you have the Answers

1.If all the nations in the world are in debt (am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird)

2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)

3.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd)

4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)

5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)

6.Can you cry under water? (let me try)

7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I think they meant something else)

8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)

9.Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)

10.Can you get cornered in a round room? (by oneseyes)

11.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)

12.What came first, the fruit or the color orange? (seed)

13.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)

14.What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)

15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? (can somebody help )

16.Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)

17.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)

18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be ! Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)

19.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

20.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)

21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? (this is nice)

22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? (stupid, break the law)

23. If drink & drive is not allowed why do bars have parking?(good one)

Hindi meaning of english sayings .....superb

How wud sum common english sayings translate in hindi???

Have a nice day!
----- * Achcha din lo!


What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!


Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?
----- * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundari; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.
----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.

How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho.

Lets hang out!
----- * Chalo bahar latakte

Professionals who regularly changed their jobs are more confident

This is interesting… & you must read it....


In a recent survey it was found that professionals who regularly changed their jobs are more confident and financially secured than their counterparts. To find out the truth we decided to have a conversation with some of our friends who are working in engineering and construction companies. We began with some professionals who had changed their jobs an year ago.

We talked to Mr S.V.Anil. This is what he had to say:
"I started my career in a company and worked in the same company for 10 years. During this period I developed very good relations with my seniors, HOD and also with admin dept. This created a sense of security in my mind and I started loving my company. During this period I came across many job opportunities from other companies and also from foreign lands. But the sense of security was so deep rooted in my mind that I never bothered to even attend a walk-in-interview. Forget about thinking of going abroad. I watched many of my colleagues resign and join other companies on a higher salary and a higher position. Some even went abroad and are settled there. Meanwhile I also saw some young engineers almost 5 years junior to me joined my company with same pay as what I was earning. It was then I was disturbed and started looking for alternatives. I had good relations with my HOD and also with administration dept so I decided to put up my case against this "injustice". Everybody showed sympathy to me but nobody took any action. All what they would say was "we will revise your scale in the next appraisal". I had faith in my company so I waited for the appraisal and to my shock I was given only an average increment the same was given to the new chaps too. The same story repeated the following year. It was then I decided to quite. But leaving was not so easy. I had a lot of sleepless nights before I actually resigned. I had built a shell of "sense of security" around me and it was very difficult to break. Worse I had lost confidence that I would be able to adjust and perform in a different environment. But later I found out it is not so difficult to get adjusted to the new environment. I am happy now that I earn better and have a good position."


This is just an example. Almost all the professionals we talked to had a similar experience.
We conclude that working in any company for more than 7 years have following disadvantages:

1. You are taken for granted by the company.
2. You get used to working in an environment which is unique to that company this makes you less confident for taking up new opportunities.
3. Personal growth is hampered as there is very little new to learn after 5-7 years.
4. You become complacent reducing your own market value.

The only benefit it offers is so called "security" (And that too is imaginary)

Here are some benefits of changing the job regularly:

1. You join the company satisfied with your needs ( pay and position ) and on your own terms.
2. Work in a different environment and learn to negotiate different problems and situations.
3. Often you get a chance to attend a new course/seminar thereby increasing your professional knowledge.
4. You are always conscious about your performance keeping your market value intact.


The professional companies do not operate on emotions. They are least bothered about your loyalty all they want is performance. You won't be awarded anything extraordinary for your loyalty. It is always performance that counts. If you are in a company serving for too long then the chances are you not one of the best performers because of the inevitable complacency.

Also such people presented with an opportunity of lifetime are incapable to grab it. It is impossible for these people to break their shell of "security" and grab the new opportunity. The situation is worse for the people who have worked for more than 15 years in only one company. They can't even dream of quitting their job, it is like fish out of water.