Just some funny ways to propose her/him ............(at your own risk!!!)
1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
"You're under arrest!"
(For what?)
"For stealing my heart."
2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?
3. are your legs tired?
( girl: Why?)
because you have been running through my mind all day!
4. "I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
5. Can you give me directions to your heart?
I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes
6. (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt,jacket, etc.)
She would say,"What are doing"
respond,"Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven."
7. (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
"I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are."
8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
9. Walk up to a guy and say: "Are you from Greece?"
"No" he answers.
"Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece"
10. I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek,and die on your lips.
11. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
12. Are you lost?
'cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
13. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
14. What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
15. Do you have a map?
I just got lost in your eyes.
16. You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
17. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Wonderful Speech - Ganex Steve Jobs [CEO - Apple]
I found this article while surfing internet, please read it ! You will never regret you wasted time !!! I loved the simplicity of Steve !!!
It’s Awesome
The following is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer, Inc., delivered on June 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
It’s Awesome
The following is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer, Inc., delivered on June 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much.
486 Dolls ..... Toching one
I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl.
Jin, do you want to go watch a movie? I asked.
Jin "I can't"
Why? You need to study at home?I felt disappointment grabbing me.
No I am going to meet a friend
He was always like that.
He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word "love" only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say "I love you" before.
To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days,200 days. Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why. Then one day...
Me Um, Jin, I...
Jin What?don't drag, just say..
Me I love you.
Jin you...um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the doll.
Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
But ...lunch passed, dinner passed...and soon the sky was dark he still didn't call.
It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me Jin...
Jin Here...take this...
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me What's this?
Jin I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. when I shouted..."Wait..."
Jin You have something to say?
Me Tell me, tell me you love me...
Jin What?!
Me Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want to say that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs felt numb...and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily...How could he!.
I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house.
That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...with another girl...
He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me??
Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that it's going to end.
Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual
Me I don't need it.
Jin What?.why?
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
"I'm sorry..." He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...
Me You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
Then...
Honk Honk
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted....
But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
"Jin, move!"
HONK!!
*Boom!* That sound, so terrifying.
That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him.
And after spending two months like a crazy person
I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days- when we were in love..
"One...two... three..."
That was how I started to count the dolls...
"Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..."
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
"I love you, I love you"
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
"I...lo..ve..you??"
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
"I love you I love you"
It can"t be!
I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
Those words came out non-stop.
"I love you"
Why didn't I realize that???.
That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
Why didn't I realize that he love me this much...
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it.
The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much....
"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is?
I couldn't say I love you..... Um... since I was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you.. Everyday...till I die.. Jo... I love you!"
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked
god, why do I only know about all this now?
He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute.
For that.. and for that reason... to me..... it became courage... to live a beautiful life...
It's better to lose your ego for the one you love …..instead loosing the one you love for your ego.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl.
Jin, do you want to go watch a movie? I asked.
Jin "I can't"
Why? You need to study at home?I felt disappointment grabbing me.
No I am going to meet a friend
He was always like that.
He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word "love" only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say "I love you" before.
To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days,200 days. Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why. Then one day...
Me Um, Jin, I...
Jin What?don't drag, just say..
Me I love you.
Jin you...um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my three words and handed me the doll.
Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many...
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
But ...lunch passed, dinner passed...and soon the sky was dark he still didn't call.
It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me Jin...
Jin Here...take this...
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me What's this?
Jin I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. when I shouted..."Wait..."
Jin You have something to say?
Me Tell me, tell me you love me...
Jin What?!
Me Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want to say that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else." That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs felt numb...and I collapsed to the ground. He didn't want to say it easily...How could he!.
I felt that... Maybe he is not the right guy for me...
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn't call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house.
That's how those dolls piled up in my room... everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that... I saw him on a street...with another girl...
He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me...as he touched the doll... I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell... Why did he gave these to me??
Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls. In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that it's going to end.
Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual
Me I don't need it.
Jin What?.why?
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
"I'm sorry..." He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll...
Me You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!
But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
Then...
Honk Honk
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted....
But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
"Jin, move!"
HONK!!
*Boom!* That sound, so terrifying.
That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me. After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him.
And after spending two months like a crazy person
I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out.I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days- when we were in love..
"One...two... three..."
That was how I started to count the dolls...
"Four hundred and eighty four... four hundred and eighty five..."
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
I hugged it tightly, then suddenly...
"I love you, I love you"
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
"I...lo..ve..you??"
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
"I love you I love you"
It can"t be!
I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
Those words came out non-stop.
"I love you"
Why didn't I realize that???.
That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
Why didn't I realize that he love me this much...
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it.
The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much....
"Jo...Do you know what today is? We've been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is?
I couldn't say I love you..... Um... since I was too shy. If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you.. Everyday...till I die.. Jo... I love you!"
The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked
god, why do I only know about all this now?
He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute.
For that.. and for that reason... to me..... it became courage... to live a beautiful life...
It's better to lose your ego for the one you love …..instead loosing the one you love for your ego.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
