Wednesday, July 23, 2008

----- The Guys Rules -----

The GUY'S RULES
=================

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys ' side of the story. ( I must admit, it ' s pretty good.) You always hear " the rules "From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That ' s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you ' re fat, you probably are.
Don ' t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing ' s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don ' t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don ' t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don ' t ask us what we ' re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Girls diary v/s Boys diary

HER DIARY
------------ ------
Day night, I thought he was acting
weird. We had made plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I
was a bit late, but he made no comment.Conversatio n wasn't flowing so
I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but
he kept quiet and absent. I asked
him what was wrong - he said,
"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I
decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided
that I could not take it anymore,
so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to
do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is gonna be a disaster.
____________ _________ _________ _

HIS DIARY
==========

Today India lost the Final match
against Pakistan.

DAMN
IT.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!

How Indian mind works .....Great one

NOT A STORY BUT A TRUE INCIDENT

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Indian replies:
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...
This is why India is shining

Only Memories Are Left

When Gulli-Danda & Kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket.
When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy), chhepan-chhepai
& pitthoo anytime ... When we desperately waited for 'Yeh Jo Hai
Jindagi' (Doordarshan serial)
When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, Dada Daadi Ki Kahaniyaan were so fulfilling.
When there was just one Tv in every five houses and...
When Bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting down at stations to fill up the water bottle ...
When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except for the 'Yeh Jo Hai Jindagi' day ...
When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them ...
When Maths teachers were not worried of our Mummies and papas while slapping/beating us ...
When we were exchanging comics and stamps and Chacha-Chaudaris & Billus were our heroes ...
When we were in Nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoes and leechies ...
When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and 'ek do teen chaar' and 'Rajani' inspired us ...
When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees ...
When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work ...
When 'Chelpark' and 'Natraaj' were encouraged against 'Reynolds
& family' ...
When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud and making 'kaagaj ki kishtis' ...
When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening ...
When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'Antardesis' and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home ...
When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding 'ice-cream & papa' type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ...
When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on
Holis as air and noise polluting or allergic agents ...
The list can be endless ...
On the serious note I would like to summarize with ...
When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like 'thinking' and 'deciding' ...
When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerely ...
When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future ...
When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak ...
When sharing worries and happiness didn't mean getting vulnerable to the listener ...
When blacks and whites were the favorite colors instead of greys ...
When journeys also were important and not just the destinations ...
When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunity to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some
super fast's second ac with its curtained, closed and dark windows ...
I really miss them .. don't u?

Mr. Azim Premji's comment on reservation

[An Old one but still worth reading it again]
Have a look at this! How convincingly an intelligent
man speaks out his heart at the no-sense move made by
Indian politicians. I hope that strikes them
somewhere!! PASS IT ON

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim Premji's comment on
reservation:

I think we should have job reservations in all the
fields. I completely support the PM and all the
politicians for promoting this. Let's start the
reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10
percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC,
SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified
accordingly.

The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST
player. The four hit by an OBC player should be
considered as a six and a six hit by an OBC player
should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60
runs should be declared as a century.

We should influence ICC and make rules so that the
pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast
balls to our OBC player.

Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 km/ hour to an
OBC player.

Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.

Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the
100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold
medal if he runs 80 meters.


[These 2 comments are really AWESOME
This should be implemented first]
There can be reservation in Government jobs also.
Let's recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts
which are carrying the ministers and politicians
(that can really help the country...)

Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the
operations for the ministers and other politicians.
(Another way of saving the country...)


Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide
INDIAforward. ..
Let's show the world that INDIAis a GREAT country.
Let's be proud of being an INDIAN...

May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH
long live...

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with
an open one."

Be Thankfull

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.