----- The Guys Rules -----

The GUY'S RULES

=================

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys ' side of the story. ( I must admit, it ' s pretty good.) You always hear " the rules "From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That ' s what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you ' re fat, you probably are.
Don ' t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing ' s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not wor th the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don ' t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don ' t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don ' t ask us what we ' re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Thank you for reading this.

Girls diary v/s Boys diary

HER DIARY

------------ ------
Day night, I thought he was acting
weird. We had made plans to meet at a
cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, soIely thought he was upset at the fact that I
was a bit late, but he made no comment.Conversatio n wasn't flowing so
I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but
he kept quiet and absent. I asked
him what was wrong - he said,
"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had
nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u,too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.Finally I
decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided
that I could not take it anymore,
so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to
do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is gonna be a disaster.
____________ _________ _________ _

HIS DIARY
==========

Today India lost the Final match
against Pakistan.

DAMN
IT.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Simplicity of Men
Vs
Complexity of Women !!!

How Indian mind works .....Great one

NOT A STORY BUT A TRUE INCIDENT

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Indian replies:
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...
This is why India is shining

Only Memories Are Left

When Gulli-Danda & Kanche (marbles) were more popular than cricket.
When we always had friends to play aais-paais (I Spy), chhepan-chhepai
& pitthoo anytime ... When we desperately waited for 'Yeh Jo Hai
Jindagi' (Doordarshan serial)
When chitrahaar, vikram-baitaal, Dada Daadi Ki Kahaniyaan were so fulfilling.
When there was just one Tv in every five houses and...
When Bisleris were not sold in the trains and we were worrying if papas will get back into the train in time or not when they were getting down at stations to fill up the water bottle ...
When we were going to bed by 9.00pm sharp except for the 'Yeh Jo Hai Jindagi' day ...
When Holis & Diwalis meant mostly hand-made pakwaans and sweets and moms seeking our help while preparing them ...
When Maths teachers were not worried of our Mummies and papas while slapping/beating us ...
When we were exchanging comics and stamps and Chacha-Chaudaris & Billus were our heroes ...
When we were in Nanihaals every summer and loved flying kites and plucking and eating unripe mangoes and leechies ...
When one movie every Sunday evening on television was more than asked for and 'ek do teen chaar' and 'Rajani' inspired us ...
When 50 paisa meant at least 10 toffees ...
When left over pages of the last years notebooks were used for rough work or even fair work ...
When 'Chelpark' and 'Natraaj' were encouraged against 'Reynolds
& family' ...
When the first rain meant getting drenched and playing in water and mud and making 'kaagaj ki kishtis' ...
When there were no phones to tell friends that we will be at their homes at six in the evening ...
When our parents always had 15 paise blue colored 'Antardesis' and 5 paise machli wale stamps at home ...
When we remembered tens of jokes and were not finding 'ice-cream & papa' type jokes foolish enough to stop us from laughing ...
When we were not seeing patakhes on Diwalis and gulaals on
Holis as air and noise polluting or allergic agents ...
The list can be endless ...
On the serious note I would like to summarize with ...
When we were using our hearts more than our brains, even for scientifically brainy activities like 'thinking' and 'deciding' ...
When we were crying and laughing more often, more openly and more sincerely ...
When we were enjoying our present more than worrying about our future ...
When being emotional was not synonymous to being weak ...
When sharing worries and happiness didn't mean getting vulnerable to the listener ...
When blacks and whites were the favorite colors instead of greys ...
When journeys also were important and not just the destinations ...
When life was a passenger's sleeper giving enough time and opportunity to enjoy the sceneries from its open and transparent glass windows instead of some
super fast's second ac with its curtained, closed and dark windows ...
I really miss them .. don't u?

Mr. Azim Premji's comment on reservation

[An Old one but still worth reading it again]
Have a look at this! How convincingly an intelligent
man speaks out his heart at the no-sense move made by
Indian politicians. I hope that strikes them
somewhere!! PASS IT ON

Wipro chairman Mr. Azim Premji's comment on
reservation:

I think we should have job reservations in all the
fields. I completely support the PM and all the
politicians for promoting this. Let's start the
reservation with our cricket team. We should have 10
percent reservation for Muslims. 30 percent for OBC,
SC/ST like that. Cricket rules should be modified
accordingly.

The boundary circle should be reduced for an SC/ST
player. The four hit by an OBC player should be
considered as a six and a six hit by an OBC player
should be counted as 8 runs. An OBC player scoring 60
runs should be declared as a century.

We should influence ICC and make rules so that the
pace bowlers like Shoaib Akhtar should not bowl fast
balls to our OBC player.

Bowlers should bowl maximum speed of 80 km/ hour to an
OBC player.

Any delivery above this speed should be made illegal.

Also we should have reservation in Olympics. In the
100 meters race, an OBC player should be given a gold
medal if he runs 80 meters.


[These 2 comments are really AWESOME
This should be implemented first]
There can be reservation in Government jobs also.
Let's recruit SC/ST and OBC pilots for aircrafts
which are carrying the ministers and politicians
(that can really help the country...)

Ensure that only SC/ST and OBC doctors do the
operations for the ministers and other politicians.
(Another way of saving the country...)


Let's be creative and think of ways and means to guide
INDIAforward. ..
Let's show the world that INDIAis a GREAT country.
Let's be proud of being an INDIAN...

May the good breed of politicians like ARJUN SINGH
long live...

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with
an open one."

Be Thankfull

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes.
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles,
and they can become your blessings.

Chill ...Pills ...

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian. Think about it..!!

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside. So, try going out without clothes tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!
That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

6. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

7. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow & sure!

8. Only 01 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

9. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

10. Laziness is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru
We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Ab aap bataaye kiski sune bapu di ya chacha di???

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that
90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!

Short story competition....Too good

There was a contest in IT giant to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line " On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station "

This is what a guy wrote for the contest....... and surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story : ))
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

The Circle of Love .....

Captured this story from book “The Zahir – Paulo Coelho”
A Good one :-)

One morning, a farmer knocked loudly on the door of a monastery. When Brother Porter
opened the door, the farmer held out to him a magnificent bunch of grapes.
“‘Dear Brother Porter, these are the finest grapes from my vineyard. Please accept them as a gift from me.’
“‘Why, thank you! I’ll take them straight to the Abbot, who will be thrilled with such a gift.’
“‘No, no. I brought them for you.’
“‘For me? But I don’t deserve such a beautiful gift from nature.’
“‘Whenever I knocked on the door, you opened it. When the harvest had been ruined by
drought, you gave me a piece of bread and a glass of wine every day. I want this bunch of grapes to bring you a little of the sun’s love, the rain’s beauty, and God’s miraculous power.’
“Brother Porter put the grapes down where he could see them and spent the whole
morning admiring them: they really were lovely. Because of this, he decided to give the present to the Abbot, whose words of wisdom had always been such a boon to him.
“The Abbot was very pleased with the grapes, but then he remembered that one of the
other monks was ill and thought: ‘I’ll give him the grapes. Who knows, they might bring a little joy into his life.’
“But the grapes did not remain for very long in the room of the ailing monk, for he in turn thought: ‘Brother Cook has taken such good care of me, giving me only the very best food to eat. I’m sure these grapes will bring him great happiness.’ And when Brother Cook brought him his lunch, the monk gave him the grapes.
“‘These are for you. You are in close touch with the gifts nature gives us and will know what to do with this, God’s produce.’
“Brother Cook was amazed at the beauty of the grapes and drew his assistant’s attention to their perfection. They were so perfect that no one could possibly appreciate them more than Brother Sacristan, who had charge of the Holy Sacrament, and whom many in the monastery considered to be a truly saintly man.
“Brother Sacristan, in turn, gave the grapes to the youngest of the novices in order to help him understand that God’s work is to be found in the smallest details of the Creation.
When the novice received them, his heart was filled with the Glory of God, because he
had never before seen such a beautiful bunch of grapes. At the same time, he remembered the day he had arrived at the monastery and the person who had opened the door to him;
that gesture of opening the door had allowed him to be there now in that community of
people who knew the value of miracles.
“Shortly before dark, he took the bunch of grapes to Brother Porter.
“‘Eat and enjoy. You spend most of your time here all alone, and these grapes will do
you good.’
“Brother Porter understood then that the gift really was intended for him; he savored
every grape and went to sleep as a happy man. In this way, the circle was closed; the circle of happiness and joy which always wraps around those who are in contact with the energy of love.”

“Making a Difference"

A vacationing businessman was walking along a beach when he saw a young boy near the shore walking towards the ocean.

There were many starfishes along the shore that had been washed up by the tide and were sure to die before the tide returned. The boy walked slowly along the shore and occasionally reached down and tossed the beached starfish back into the ocean.

The businessman, hoping to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, walked up to the boy and said, "I have been watching what you are doing, son. You have a good heart, and I know you mean well, but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfish are dying on every beach every day. Surely such an industrious and kind hearted boy such as yourself could find something better to do with your time. Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?"

The boy looked up at the man, and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet. He picked up the starfish, and as he gently tossed it back into the ocean, he said, "It makes a difference to that one."